Something good from the All-Star game…

I’m not going to go off on MLB for starting events at a time that I can barely keep my eyes open on the East Coast.  Or the over-produced national anthem that takes sixteen minutes to belt out (shut up and sing the damn song).  Or that the only reason the game “counts” is because of World Series home-field advantage for the winner.  (It’s nothing more than a ploy to get people to watch, nothing more.)

But hat’s off to President Obama, wearing his White Sox jacket to throw out the first pitch.  Not some non-descript All-Star Game jacket, not a Cardinals jacket, but his hometown White Sox.  In a celebration of the best players in the sport, and with each and every team being represented in the game, there’s no reason for him NOT to.  And no, I don’t think he would have done it any differently if the game were at Minneapolis, or if he were a Cubs fan, I’m sure he would have worn a Cubs jacket in St. Louis. 

That’s a page out of my book.  I always wore my Yankee cap in Fenway, even if the Yanks weren’t playing.  You show your loyalty, but you don’t be an asshole about it.

Know who you’re rooting for…

So tonight’s the All-Star Game.  Anybody who knows me knows I’m a huge baseball fan.  America’s pastime.  Ballparks, beer, and brats.  I’ve travelled countless miles to attend games in numerous stadiums, some of which no longer stand.  I pay through the nose to watch my beloved Yankees on TV, since I don’t live in the home market.  I listen to games on the radio at work, in the car, etc. 

But did you ever realize that a bunch of pansy names the teams have?  Hardly any invoke an image of strength, competitiveness, or machismo.  Then again, many of them were coined in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.  They spoke a different English back then, which probably began the tradition of naming teams after the most ridiculous stuff.

Like garments.  And by garments, I mean stockings…er…socks: the Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, and the Cincinnati Reds.  No, the Reds weren’t named after the Communist party, they were the Red Stockings. 

Or birds.  Nothing says fierce like the Baltimore Oriole.  No eagles, raptors or other birds of prey in baseball.  The NFL gets the Falcons.  The NBA gets the Hawks.  Instead we get the O’s or the Toronto Blue Jays or St. Louis Cardinals.  And don’t tell me that blue jays are aggressive towards other birds of their size.  They’re still small.

One of the most non-confrontational names in MLB has to be the San Diego Padres.  And their mascot isn’t that goofy monk but rather the San Diego Chicken.  What do you fear more, poultry or a priest?  (No pedophile punchlines here, please.)  Or what about the Los Angeles Angels?  A cute fluffy Angel with wings and a halo?  Not exactly a warrior.  But really the Angels are named after…

Locations.  The City of Angels.  I’ve never been to LA, nor do I know why they’d name a city after angels.  And the Colorado Rockies.  OK, the mountains are strong, but they don’t move.  The Colorado Avalanche on the other hand is something to fear.  Who wants to get buried alive in moving snow?  The Philadelphia Phillies…are they named after the city or the bad cigar used for smoking pot?  (That one can go either way.)  Or the New York Metropolitans and the New York Yankees?  What the hell is a Met or a Yankee?  Why not just call the Mets the Cosmos (after the girly drink, not the former soccer team)?  And the Yanks are named after the good guys during the Civil War?  Wow, way to be current, especially since they didn’t adopt the name Yankees until almost 50 years after the Civil War!

OK, let’s get the so-called racism out of the way.  Everybody thinks the Indians and the Braves are derogatory names.  But both team names in my opinion invoke a tough, sparring people.  Nobody is saying they can’t handle the firewater.  Or they’re making up for years of racism by opening casinos.  OK, Chief Wahoo straggles the line a little bit.  And I’m getting a little sick of the hillbilly tomahawk chop.  So we have two teams that may qualify for tough status, but they’ll get proverbial asterisks. 

There’s a whole bunch of ambiguous names.  The San Francisco Giants are giant whats?  Kittens?  Cotton Balls?  They’re not the Jolly Green Giant, since it’s the cross-town A’s that are green.  The Oakland A’s have an elephant mascot, but when I hear the name Athletic, the image that comes to mind is early 1900’s circus strongman with the handlebar moustache and knee-high boots, the big trapezoidal hunk of iron with the ring on top that they pick up with one finger, and it says 1000 lbs. on the front of it.  The Washington Nationals kept the wimpy name tradition since they wanted to shed the Senators name.  And the Minnesota Twins…what can I say?

The Los Angeles Dodgers used to be the Brooklyn Trolley-Dodgers.  There aren’t any trolleys in Brooklyn any more, and neither are the Dodgers.  The name just doesn’t make sense for LA, just like the Lakers, named after what, the Hollywood Reservoir?

Until I did the research for this piece, I never knew the Kansas City Royals were named after the annual rodeo held there.  Again, clueless as to why…

There’s a bunch of occupations.  The Seattle Mariners.  We all know the fellows on the Deadliest Catch are the real tough guys.  So who exactly are the Seattle Mariners named after, ferryboat operators?  The Texas Rangers?  I’d only be scared if they were the Walker, Texas Rangers, with a picture of Chuck Norris on the caps.  Now the Houston Colt .45s had a cool name.  It was the gun that won the west.  But it didn’t matter as they were named after the Astrodome, which was named after the importance of the space industry in Houston.  I only think of space and Houston in the same sentence when I hear  “Houston, we have a problem.”  They couldn’t come up with Oil Rigger?  Oh, that rhymes with a bad word, so that’s why the NFL team probably used the name Oilers. 

Then there’s the Milwaukee Brewers.  Bernie Brewer can’t slide into a mug any more.  Ooooo…scary beer.  If he can’t slide into a mug any more just go ahead and change the team name already to the Two-Faces (not to be confused with the Twins), named after Bud Selig. 

The Florida Marlins are named after a fish.  And while the Tampa Bay Rays used to be named after deadly sting rays, they’re now opting for the more tranquil sunshine rays. 

The Arizona Diamondbacks are named after deadly rattlesnakes.  But for those of us who don’t live in the desert, why not just call them Rattlesnakes?

The Cubs are named after bears, but not Da Bears.  They’re cute cuddly cubs, which puts them on the level of teddy bears.  That leaves one team.

The Detroit Tigers.  It’s obvious.  Pretty to look at, but they’re maul you to death.  The command respect.  And you have to respect any team that played that long at the corner of Michigan and Trumball. Good thing they didn’t name the team after the auto industry.

I’m not about advocating for changing names of teams, because they’ve been ingrained into our culture.  I don’t want to root for the New York Toughguys.  And I’ll never root for the Boston Can’t-Pronounce-The-Letter-R’s. 

And it’s just a silly team name, and nothing more.

The House that Steinbrenner Built

The one thing about being a Yankee fan is that there is never a lack of drama.  There’s always stories in the tabloids about some off-field antics.  Some years, it’s better to follow them than to follow the team.  I lived through the 80s.  And during the lean times, George Steinbrenner wanted to get out of the Bronx in the worst way.  He threatened to move the team to Jersey.  NEW FUCKING JERSEY???  I figured I’d have to pick some other team to follow than to root for a team that played in Jersey. 

Then came the 90s, they win a few World Series, and now that they’re the hot team in town, they wanted to leave the Bronx.  This time for midtown Manhattan…the cursed West Side Yards.  I call it a cursed site, since they’ve been talking about building anything and everything on that site, and nothing has been built.  Back in the 70s, Sears wanted to build their tower there rather than Chicago.  The Jets were promised it a few years ago, but were cock-blocked by Cablevision, which will try to build a new Madision Square Garden on the site.  We’ll see…

Bottom line, the Yanks have been talking about leaving the Bronx for over 20 years now by my count.  Then they said they would build a new stadium across the street.  Again, I said I’d believe it when I see it.  Boy, did I see it. 

I was able to get tickets to the first exhibition game at the new Yankee Stadium against the Cubs on April 3.  I’m still walking on air.  The place has by and far exceeded all fan’s expectations.  It is a combination of the old (pre-70s-renovation) Yankee Stadium, and a brand new futuristic ballpark.  I think the Yanks started to get the itch when they built their Legends Field spring training facility in Tampa.  They brought back the frieze along the top of the stadium there, and being flush with cash coming off a few World Series and record-breaking attendance, they couldn’t have picked a better time to do so.

The subway is the only way to get to Yankee Stadium, as driving and parking there is an absolute nightmare.  We took the 4 train, which is my preferred subway to get there.  It pops above ground just before the old Stadium, and the small gap in the old stadium gave you a glimpse inside.  The field is gone, and it’s just dirt in there.  Weird.

But right across the street where McComb’s Dam Park used to sit, now stands a new Stadium so big, so new, so over-the-top amazing, you almost feel bad that you turn your back, literally, to enter the new Stadium.  You get the feeling how people felt back in 1923 when the showed up to the old Stadium and found a brand new imposing venue, the first to be worthy of the designation “Stadium.” 

When Derek Jeter gave his speech after the last game at the old Stadium, he said we should bring the old memories across the street, where we’ll have new memories.  While the game itself wasn’t all that memorable, walking into the new Stadium sure was.  Not only is everying shiny and new, it seems that architects finally combined the retro concept and the modern concept.  From the friese along the roof to the Monument Park in centerfield, there is no doubt you’re in Yankee Stadium.  And with a nod to all the history and the pictures and banners in the Great Hall and the concourses, there is a modern feel to the venue, as the place is dripping with technology, be it HD televisions (all 1100+ of them), or the ribbon boars, or the largest true HD jumbotron in the world. 

When you enter the Stadium, you quickly find yourself in the Great Hall, the outer ground-level mezzanine.  The lights and banners and animation and inside jumbotron are so overwhelming, you feel like you’re a kid again, in a giddy haze wandering about, not paying attention, walking into other people’s pictures.

Great Hall

Reggie Jackson talks to Lou Pinella prior to the game.

Can you tell the difference between the old and new Stadiums?

Here’s the bottom line.  While it’s a completely new place, sitting at my seat, I got this eerie familiar feeling that I’ve been here before, even though it was the every first game played there.  It’s no doubt Yankee Stadium.  But even though it’s a brand new place, it has a very familiar feel about it.  And while I was glad to be able to drag my infant daughter to the old Stadium, I can’t wait to bring her to the new one.  And like Jeter said, create new memories…